Paul Feig, in Sunday’s New York Times Magazine’s profile of him, explained it perfectly in the pull quote pictured above.
For me it went like this:
The Man (while waving wads of dirty cash in your face): Can you do this thing for which we feel you are totally and uniquely qualified? We love everything you do like this. Please, will you do it?
Me: You’re right, I AM uniquely qualified. Plus, I like cash.
The Man: How do you, who are so uniquely qualified, see this working best?
Me: I see it being X, Y, and Z because it seems like everything like this is A, B, and C. A is okay, but it’s obvious, and B and C are just plain untrue.
The Man: So true. That sounds great. You do X and Y and Z. X, Y and Z! That’s genius! (pause) One thing, it seems like we can’t include H.
Me: That’s okay. How about L?
The Man: No, L won’t work either.
Me: Okay, we could use M instead.
The Man: That’s fabulous! Other letters might be okay too, if M doesn’t work. But no P. Absolutely no P.
[time passes...]
The Man: We don’t like Z. It’s all zig-zagging. The lines go this way and that way and they make a…
Me: A Z?
The Man: Exactly! And Y is made out of two lines joined in a V with a line at the bottom.
Me: But that’s what a Y is… is X okay?
The Man: Well, it’s… it’s two lines that just sort of cross and make an…
Me: An X?
The Man: Right. But we think we can work with it. We’re going to pull them apart a bit and stick something in the middle, across, and then it wil be more like an…
Me: An A.
The Man: Yeah, that’s going to work just fine.
Me: So you don’t want X, Y, and Z?
The Man: We’re thinking maybe A, B, and C would be better.
(silence)
The Man: And M isn’t working. How about H?
Me: uh, huh
The Man: And where’s P? Why isn’t there any P?
I then made a vow to construct a new life in which when The Man calls I say no, or hang up, or don’t even answer. Maybe in this new fantasy life The Man doesn’t even have my number.
So we ate that soup above for dinner last night. We actually ate several different versions of that soup–with me grilling my beleaguered dashing husband and jet-lagged broken-armed son about which version was creamier and thicker and more “indulgent” and better coated their poor hungry mouths and whether they could taste the tofu or pears or crack or whatever I put in there.
Jess | 30-Sep-08 at 8:06 am | Permalink
Oh, dear Molly, you’ve hit The Man on the head. Much appreciated.
April | 30-Sep-08 at 9:17 am | Permalink
I love this. You nailed it! I’ve had that conversation many, many times. Of course, there’s the unseen background where the legal department “won’t let” The Man change the contract, which you sign because you think X, Y and Z will be exciting. The Man has grabbed so many rights, though, and you cannot reuse X, Y, and Z, and you indemnify them if their reconstructed A, B, and C have any problems.
Charmian Christie | 30-Sep-08 at 10:54 am | Permalink
Love it! I can relate on so many levels.
Absolutely no P…why isn’t there any P?
Sooooooo true!
Gretchen | 30-Sep-08 at 11:08 am | Permalink
You must work for the same Man I work for. My man is also very fickle and he changes his mind a lot. But I do love that cash he waves.
roz cummins | 30-Sep-08 at 11:14 am | Permalink
This is 100% accurate. When did you start taping my phone calls???
Jessica | 30-Sep-08 at 12:24 pm | Permalink
I have no idea what you might be talking about. Everyone claims to like chocolate, but in the end they always order vanilla.
Babette | 03-Oct-08 at 10:39 am | Permalink
Oh, very clever. Very funny.